Stingy Men of Nigeria have followed the steps of stingy men association of Uganda, stingy men association of Zambia and stingy men association of Malawi to form an association to fight for the rights of all ‘misers’.
According to the dictionary definition, A ‘stingy man’ is a man who has money, but is very reluctant to part with it. He is a miser; he doesn’t like to spend money on himself or on others.
Rules for Stingy Men Association Of Nigeria
- A person shall become a Member of SMAN after rigorous scrutiny of their wallet and their ways of life.
- Men who pledge at weddings shall not be granted membership to the Association of Stingy men.
- Men who offer to pick up their dates and drop them shall not be considered for membership.
- A member must feel no shame whatsoever in rejecting any monetary request presented to him.
- Members shall arm themselves with excuses such as; ‘let me see what I can do’, ‘I wish you had told me earlier’, ‘I am expecting some money next week’, ‘let me call you back’, ‘I will let you know.’
- No commitment whatsoever should be made by a member towards honouring any form of monetary request.
- All members must belong first and foremost to the struggle
- These are abnormal times. All members must subscribe to the ‘struggle creed.’
- Nothing goes out of the pocket during a struggle. No dates, no birthday showers, no baby showers. Everything starts and ends at home.
Unplanned messages from the Girl Child
- A Member of stingy men association of Nigeria (SMAN) must watch out for unplanned messages from the girl child. A member must avoid responding to a random unsolicited ‘Hi’ from the girl child. Let the sleeping dog lie. Don’t insist on knowing why a girl child is not okay.
- Immediately you read things such as ‘I miss you’, ‘I love you’, be sure to respond a day later. A stinger must reply a day later to all messages that contain any form of compliment. If you read; ‘please call me back, it’s urgent’, don’t panic, many men have rushed and called back only to end up in the broke men association.
- Any daughter of Eve that asks for money shall be treated as an illegal immigrant and be labelled; ‘not wife material.’ Remember, the stingy shall inherit the earth. The generous shall die with regrets.
Leadership on Stingy Men Association Of Nigeria
- Unlike other associations, there won’t be a position of Treasurer in Stingy Men Association Of Nigeria (SMAN). There’s nothing to collect. No membership fees, no annual subscription fees. We are allergic to anything called ‘contribution.’ We’ve already contributed enough in life.
- Membership shall be based on stingy levels. The stingier one gets, the higher their chances of ascending to the leadership of this historical association. Members shall always abide by the slogan; ‘aka gum.”
Transport Money for the girl child
- Transport money is forbidden for all members of the Stingy Men Association Of Nigeria (SMAN). It has no legal basis and should, therefore, be treated as a bribe.
- However, the exemption shall be offered for transport money in the case; a) The ‘transported’ is using a cab and money is refunded upon arrival Payment upon delivery at a place.
Airtime for the girl child
- Refer to Article Four. Thou shall not buy airtime for anyone. If you want to talk to someone, you will call them. What is the airtime for? Who are they calling other than you?
- WhatsApp shall be the mode of communication. No video calls, however, shall be allowed. Anything that exhausts data bundles shall be treated with caution. Always disable data when not active online.
Negotiation, bargaining tactics
- Members must always act under the belief that they’re being cheated. As such, never shall a member accept the first price offered to them. If a cabman says it’s 5K to Ogun state from Lagos, assume it’s 2K. Only settle after three cabmen maintain the same price. There’s always room for a better price.
- Members must practice the art of walking away in hopes that the service provider will call them back. Keep Walking is the motto.
- When out shopping, the Stinger shall always direct his partner’s movement, he is expected to define the route, the faster out of the supermarket, the better. If possible, the stinger shall fake a call to rush somewhere.
- A member must be ready to fall sick, disappear, lose his phone, lose a relative when days such as her birthday, Valentines, name it all comes around. Unless luck has it that a member has a complimentary ticket, members are immune to all kinds of events and celebrations.